side of bread with that sandwich please

Okay, so I call the local pizza parlor to order lunch for me and a friend.

After a half hour of discussion we had finally decided on chicken parmesan.

Hi! I’d like an order for delivery.

You’re the well-done personal pizza lady.

Yup, but today my friend and I feel like some chicken parm.  We’d like two orders, sauce on the side please.  And you know I don’t like onions in my sauce.

Don’t worry, I know, I’ll get the onions out. 

We also want two sides of garlic bread, one Diet Pepsi, one Pepsi regular, okay?

You got it.  See you soon.

So we’re sitting around talking and the delivery guy arrives with a bag that smells heavenly.

He gets his 21 bucks plus a tip and leaves.

We rip open the bag and find two 12″ chicken parmesan heroes, and two 12″ loaves of garlic bread inside.

That’s 4 feet of bread. 

I hit the redial on my cell.

Hi this is Frances.   My order was just delivered.

Right chicken parm instead of personal pizza.

Right. You sent me two chicken parm heros with two garlic bread on the side. I didn’t ask for heroes.

You asked for chicken parm right?

Yes I did.

If you want chicken parm on a plate you have to ask for chicken parm on a plate.  If you ask for just chicken parm then you get a hero.

Really?  And it would never occur to you to ask me if I want a plate or hero.

Silence.

Look you have to tell me what you want.

I did.  I told you I wanted 2 chicken parm.  Didn’t the fact that I asked for bread on the side give you a hint?  We got 4 feet of bread here.

But it’s your fault you didn’t say chicken parm on a plate.

I said 2 chicken parm with garlic bread on the side.  Who gets a sandwich with a side of bread?

Silence

Just send the delivery man back with my money and take your food back.

You don’t want me to send you 2 chicken parm on a plate?

No, just my money thank you.

Five minutes later the delivery guy is at the door.  The first thing out of his mouth is:

I’m sorry, but I don’t make the orders.

It’s okay, I know. 

We had Wendy’s instead.